Happy Fourth of July (on July 21?)

Since the fourth of July is our day of independence, our Spaniard friends have been asking us how we celebrate our Independence Day and asking us what  kind of stuff we do.  We all figured that since they are asking us, Why don't we just have a fourth of July party.  The thing was that we couldn't have the party on the Fourth, so we moved it all the way back to July 21st.  The party was planned, invitations were made and we were raring to go.

Although most of the preparations were planned last minute and at times we (the team) felt like chickens with our heads cut off, the party was extremely successful.  It started at 9:30pm and went on till 3am!  We talked with friends, listened to music, ate hot dogs, hamburgers, tortilla chips with Jalapeño dip and brownies (those went quickly too).  The best part was just being in fellowship with friends and laughing and having good conversation and getting to know those around us.  We even put in some Shakira music and danced a little bit.  Paolo, an Argentine who's a magician, came later and did some magic tricks and became the life of the party.

I think the longer and longer that I am here, the more I'm beginning to realize that life is something to be experienced and not just merely read through the eyes of another person.  You can't experience things to the fullest if you haven't experienced them yourself.  The same thing goes with scripture and biblical things.  Until you have really experienced what that says, you'll never really be able to truly embrace its truth for yourself.  

Here is a video by Sarah McLachlan called World is On Fire that really moved me and made me think about how blessed I am and how there's much I can do for the rest of the world.  I hope the next time you think you have it bad, you watch this video.  Remember, life is not about what you get, but about what you can give...

I struggle with forward motion...

Why does it always seem like I struggle with motivation to do anything?  Ugh...this is so frustrating for me.  I feel as if I have the language down, the culture is fine, life with Spaniards is great, but this whole music thing to me just seems so overwhelming.  When something's overwhelming to me, I just shut down and say to myself "Why even bother?  I'm not going to be able to accomplish that in two years?"  

I was also thinking about 1 Corinthians 10:31 where it says "Therefore, whatever you do, whether you eat or drink, do it all for the glory of God."  I honestly have to say that I am not living this out with the music stuff here at all.  I struggle to do anything with it.  I haven't sang in two weeks, I haven't written a song in a week, and I feel like I'm just never going to accomplish anything.  However, I'm definitely not going to accomplish anything by sitting on my butt all day and doing nothing.  

I guess what I am asking for is prayer about this area of my life.  I wish there was some magic cliche or some encouraging speech that would make me want to work my hardest, but nothing comes to mind.  Pray that I will be diligent in my music work as well as work in areas that I may not like, but that I have to do.  Thanks you guys.

Our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops

They said we're wasting our lives

Oh at least we know that if we died, we lived with passion

They say we burn so bright

- A by Cartel

Why do we spend so much time looking into the future or at the past instead of enjoying what's right in front of us?  This question came to my mind today as I woke up from my bed in the Born this morning.  I know that I spend so much time looking to the future and thinking that it will be better when I get there.  In the process, I waste so much time today and not making the most of every moment in the here and now.

In connection with that, I've been wondering what the word passion really means in real life and in my own life.  According to the famous Webster's Dictionary, it is an intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.  After reading that definition, I have realized that passion in my own life has been drained and my passion for being here doesn't seem as strong as it was when I first came here.  I feel as a leaf in the wind, being blown from thing to thing and just going with the motions.  

At the same time, I believe passion is something that can only be lived in the here and now in life.  You can't live passionately in the future or the past, but only in the present.  We need to realize that today is a gift and need to live it wildly for today and for no other time and place. To think on the future or past to waste passion for today.

A Passionate Life Over a Regretful Life

I've also thought about the fact that I'd rather live and die living passionately than live and die regretfully...regretfully knowing that I didn't do what I've always dreamed of.  That way if I die, at least I can say I died living passionately and wholehearted being a servant as Christ was.  There have been very few times in my life where I've lived life to the fullest.  

I've always played my life safely and not passionately to a sense.  I'm not talking about living recklessly, I'm talking about living passionately.  I've always felt like I have a side of me that is just bursting to get out that I have kept bottled up for so long.  I need to feel what feeling alive feels like.  I need to take risks and live life with a bold and wild passion and not just keeping to myself and playing it on the safe side.

Lord, I pray that I never lose passion in my life... To live for the here and now because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow or the next day, but only guaranteed my life for today.  I'm tired of living in the past and future, but I want to live for today for you and nobody else.  I'm also tired of living safely, but rather if I am to die, I would rather die knowing that I lived and died with passion for you.  Father, you are the only thing I need for today and for the rest of my life.  I love you and thank you for today and if you choose to, I thank you for tomorrow.

Amen

Shelter me oh genius words

Just give me strength 

Just to pin these things

And give me peace to well her wings

And Oh, Oh carry on all you minstrels of the world

- The Minstrel's Prayer by Cartel

On The Set...or Something like that

So today we were getting work done (or I should say Matt was getting work done and I was sleeping because I wasn't feeling good) and Matt gets a call. Come to find out, Woody Allen is filming a movie in Barcelona and he was filming part of the movie a few feet from our apartment and right under the girl jman's apartment. Naturally, we hurried over to the girls apartment to catch the action.

Sure enough, there was Woody Allen standing there waiting for things to be set up for the scene they were filming next in the movie. We find out through others that Scarlet Johannson and Penelope Cruz are in this movie as well. Well we are waiting around to see the other stars and sure enough, Scarlett Johannson comes on the set. She's pretty short and look like a normal person for the most part. I got a few pictures of Scarlett and Woody (we're on first name basis...lol).

(I know you can't tell, but trust me when I say that this is Woody Allen)

(Yep...that's Scarlett Johannson a few feet away from the girl's and my apartment)

Anyways, in new developments, things have been going pretty slow right now. I have moved into the apartment with Matt as of a week ago and am still trying to get adjusted to a new schedule. Meanwhile, I am meeting with my intercambios and those are going really well. I really believe I am making some good friends out of these intercambios and just sharing life with these Spaniards. Pray that I will be able to write songs, find venues and muster up the courage to perform my songs in local venues. Until then, take care and God bless.

This is Your Life....Are you who you wanna be?

Three years ago, Switchfoot released a song called This Is Your Life on the album, The Beautiful Letdown. The song talks about how we base too much of our lives on what already has occured. It talks about how today is the day to start being who you want to be. The question is this:

This is your life...Are you who you wanna be?
This is your life...Are you who you wanna be?
This is your life...Is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When your world was younger and you had everything to lose.

This is a question that crosses my mind and I ask myself over and over again. Am I turning into the person that I want to be? A person that makes God smile and makes him proud? A person that in everything I do, brings glory and honor to Him? Is this life everything that I imagined it would be?

My answer is absolutely without a shadow of a doubt. I couldn't be happier than where I am right now in life. I have been blessed with a wonderful opportunity here in Spain, a great team, family and friends along the journey that can share in this adventure that I am on in life. I feel as if I've already changed so much these past couple of months and it's only been three months here. This mystery known as life is exciting. I don't know what it holds, but it's going to be exciting to find out.

So I leave you with the question I ask myself everyday....This is your life, are YOU who YOU want to be? Is this life everything you dreamed it would be? Or are you letting history repeat itself? Are you letting your past defeat you when it is done and over? Today is the day to live the life that you choose to live? What will you choose?




I miss this guy....

The Return From ACM

I was in Lisbon, Portugal last week from the 25-29 for our company's meeting there. If you ever get the opportunity to visit Lisbon, please do. It's a beautiful city to visit, very relaxed, and pretty cheap compared to other places in Europe. It was good to see old friends as well as make new ones while there.

That being said, as much as I enjoyed Lisbon, God really reinforced in me the need for spending time with Him daily. For most of the time, I felt so drowned out and was so quiet while there, just enjoying listening to everyone else around me. I really do believe that my times with God have taught me how to be a better listener to not only Him, but to other people around me. It felt so weird and awkward the days I didn't do my quiet times and I was fearful of that, but it is a good and healthy fear. Here's a pic of me and some of my WE family:



Rockin at the Palace...

So the band's concert at the Palace Bar went really well. The group said they had more fun here in Barcelona and it should be the truth. I live in the best city ever. The group was amazing and even went out and talked to others that were at the bar and not just sitting with their group. I can definitely see the Father raising up a great army for him in the future.

I think the thing I learned the most from this was that sometimes, God works things way bigger than I could ever imagined. I was so fearful that there was going to be nobody at the bar that evening for the band and that they would be disappointed. That night, the bar was packed full of people and it was like God saying to me "Does this work for you?"...lol. I was humbled that God was able to show me to never underestimate what He can do.

I will post more pictures of myself as soon as I can.

As for right now, things are just busy, busy, busy. Pray for peace and for me to be filled with the Spirit everyday that I am here. It's hard to believe that I am closing in on three months being here. God has proven faithful every step of the way here and I praise Him for that. Until next time my friends...

Go on and take My picture
Go on and make Me up
Oh, I'll still be your Defender
And you'll be My missing son
And I'll send out an army
Just to bring you back to Me.
Cause regardless of your brothers' lies,
Oh, you will be set free.

Because I am My beloved's
And My beloved's Mine;
So, you bring all your history,
I'll bring the bread and wine.
Then we'll have us a party
Where all the drinks are on Me
And as surely as the rising sun
Oh, you will be set free.
- Lover by Derek Webb

So I have officially begun intercambios this week with Spaniards. For those of you who don't know what an intercambio is, it basically means an exchange in Spanish. For me, it's where we meet with a Spaniard and I practice my Castellano (fancy word for Spanish) and they practice their English with me. I will have to say that the meetings have been pretty solid so far.

I am beginning to become good friends with two people by the name of Joan and Sergio. They are both really interesting people and very thoughtful and compassionate people. I value their opinions and them as individuals. Lift them up, that they would have great days ahead and that God would bless them at their work. Lift me up in hopes that I will be able to be a good friend to them and be able to live life the way I should in front of them.

As for me, I'm doing so wonderful. I have a great time, great family, great friends (both Spaniard and American). God is teaching me so much of myself that's true and so much about myself that I need to change. I've realized that in some ways I've exchanged truth for tradition instead of tradition for truth. God is really molding me according to 1 Corinthians 13 and is truly showing me what true love is all about in life.

"Now, for the loss I bear his name,
What was my gain I count my loss
My former pride I call my shame
And nail my glory to His cross."
- I Boast No More by Caedmons Call

I was recommended to listen to this artist by one of my best friends, Daniel Shippey. This is a song by Sean McConnell and it's called I'm Mady In Love With You. These lyrics have moved me in an awesome way. They seem so beautiful and as something that only God can say to me or to all of us. God bless everyone!


I see you down there everyday
Trying to find a different way
To build some kind of latter to the sky
Trying to find someway to see
The secrets of eternity
And they don't come all at once
And you don't know why

How do you think it feels to hear you screaming out my name
While all the while I'm trying to open up your heart
I see you when you're cry yourself to sleep
It's tearing me apart

I know you wish you could see
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you

I know that you're waiting for
A chance to come in from the war
If only a moment, If only a day
A place where you feel safe and warm
A sanctuary from the storm
Until all of these questions fade away

But I cannot count all of the signs that you've passed away as mere coincidence
And I'm running out of ways to break through
But like a lonely lover waiting by the ocean
I'll never give up on you

I know you wish you could see
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you

"So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."

O dear God,
I pray that I never forget this verse in my life. That no matter how many words I say or songs that I sing or songs that I write, I am bankrupt without love...That no matter how much I know, how much I learn, or how much I teach, I am bankrupt without Love...That no matter how many concerts I do, how many bands I promote, no matter what example I live, I am bankrupt without love. I can possess every Spiritual gift in the world but if I do not have love, I am completely and utterly worth NOTHING.

Therefore, God, since you are love, if I don't have you, I am nothing as well. Help me realize that in order to be like you, I must do everything in love.

The Attack is On.

It seems as if lately, the evil one has decided to up his attack on fellow believers in other countries. I have heard from many friends in other places and as well as people back home that have told me about people going through such immense struggles and trials. It's sad to hear, but at the same time it's a great opportunity in that the Lord has found us faithful to go through many trials for the sake of His name.

This continually reminds me how there's almost a comfort about going to church in America. A comfort that puts out the subliminal message that to be suffering is to not be in God's will almost. This is so contrary to what it says in His word. God never promised us that we wouldn't suffer, but he did promise us that He is good and that He will always be with us. I encourage each of you that when you face persecution of suffering of any kind, realize that the Lord is with you through these trials. Things will be difficult, but God doesn't bring us to something without bringing us through it. We just need to have a kind of faith that has feet (thanks Dan-O for that line).

So I am reading through Matthew and I just got through reading about Jesus being betrayed by Jesus. In that chapter, Judas asked the Pharisees how much they would pay him if he were to hand over Jesus to them. Of course we all know that he hands over Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Now first of all, betraying Jesus for any kind of money is dead wrong and you know we always frown upon Judas when we read this. Jesus himself said "Woe to that man. For it would have been better for him to have never been born."

After reading this, I got to thinking in my own life what I've traded over the Lord for. I can recall so many times in life I've traded him for human friends, for music, for money or for respect amongst other people. I've even traded time with him for good things like doing tons of relief work or giving money to good causes. We as human being tend to trade him for things that are so tangible and for things that will give us some recognition amongst mankind. We always seem to forget the verse "What is seen is temporary; but what is unseen is eternal." Are you trading the best thing-our relationship with the Lord- for good things? Are you trading what is seen for what is unseen? Remember that Jesus said "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

And now for the funny story of the week:

My teacher was asking me about the Camino De Santiago and what was my favorite part. I told her that "I really enjoyed this one place we stayed at called Sobrado de Dos Monxes. There, we stayed at a monastery and we stayed with monks."......Or so I thought I said in Spanish. Immediately I get all these weird looks from people and I quickly found out what I said. Instead of saying I stayed with monks in Spanish, I said I slept with monks. So that was my first language goof up since I've been here. I thought I would share that one with you.

Favorite lyric of the moment:

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's making time for chaos
I will see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's making time for chaos
- Chaos by MuteMath

So I tried the Banana Java Chip Frappucino at Starbucks. The first time the robust beverage of banana and chocolate chip hit my mouth, I thought it wasn't too tasty. Then the second swig was amazing. So if you ever get the chance to have one, please do because it is wonderful, especially when you live in a place where it's 85 degrees with no air conditioning. I know some people are in worse conditions than I am so I guess I can't complain about that.
Yusi loves to tell me "you're always sleeping." I've gotten to where when he comes in, I'll lay down and pretend I was sleeping just to hear him say that to make me laugh. I'm going to go check out his new flat that he got sometime soon. He wants me to come and check it out so I think I definitely will do that.

This is my absolute favorite comedian ever named Jim Gaffigan doing a stand up about Hot Pockets...Check this out because this is hilarious:

Something has got to give. I feel so much pressure to learn a language, learn a culture, get my residency AND find a venue for a band. It's probably more self-induced pressure than anything, but something has to happen sometime soon. I guess what I'm saying is I just need some prayer for something to work out.

I've realized today though that one problem I have is that I always feel like I am a burden to people and a bother to people. I need to figure out why I think this way. I'm thinking maybe it may have to do with what I've always perceived. I don't know if it's a self-esteem thing or something else. I even didn't want to put up this negative post because I didn't want to burden anybody by putting it up.


Later peeps...

The only time I ever noticed my heart
Was when I noticed you
- Noticed by MuteMath

It seems lately that God has been teaching me a lot about forgiveness. I've discovered as receiving forgiveness, you can only receive complete forgiveness from the Lord for the things you do. However, it is important you go to the other person and admit that you've done them wrong and ask them to forgive you. After that, I believe that you are basically made right in the eyes of Christ.

I've also figured out that the only thing that unforgiveness of a person can get you is more pain and grief and more division between you and the Lord. We hold unforgiveness because we think "I want them to experience the pain that I experienced or am experiencing." In the end, if that person has asked for forgiveness from you and you still have unforgiveness towards them, the only one that's in pain is yourself. You're causing a division between you and Christ and that's where the real pain lies. Pain does not occur between two people, but rather the worst pain is when there's a rift between you and the father.

More importantly, I've learned how much I need mercy and grace in my own life in this area. Grace is getting what we don't deserve and mercy is not getting what we do deserve in our lives. I'm sure there are people in my life that have been unforgiving towards me and there use to be people in my life that I had harbored unforgiveness for. Trust me when I say, it's better to forgive them and move forward then to sit there and sulk on the fact that your feelings are hurt or that person screwed you over. That does no damage to the other person....It only does damage to yourself.

Let's just say that you do inflict damage on someone else and you hurt someone else. Is that what God would want you to do? That because you hurt, you wish to inflict pain on someone on else? Is it just me that sees something incredibly wrong with this way of thinking? Instead of hurting someone in response to being hurt, respond in kindness. Anybody can hurt someone in response to being hurt, it takes a different person to respond with kindness. "Do not overcome evil with evil, but rather overcome evil with good." That's a verse I'm guilty of not practicing as well.

For my blog today, I wanted to put up this song that I recently heard. The words are written from a musician that just recently became a believer. It's called Jesus Christ by Brand New. I'm starting to think I should ask the questions in my own faith that I've been taught never to question. I'm really having to learn to decifer between the truth and tradition. While it is enlightening, it's scary at the same time because a part of me wants to believe the tradition is truth.

Some people may find it offensive, but I find it incredibly raw and real. Enjoy

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
With nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem is gonna last
More than the weekend

Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
But I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Or do I float through the ceiling

Or do I divide and pull apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you're coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories

I'd Like to Present You With Something I Call Personality

I've realized that as I learn more of the Spanish language here, my personality has completely changed in a lot of ways. First off, it has taught me to listen more and to speak less. Not only because I'm afraid to make mistakes, but because I find it more beneficial to hear what my Spaniard friends have to say and I learn a lot from them as well. My Spaniard friends are funny, opinionated and a joy to be around. Just when I think I'm tired of Spaniard culture, they say something funny to me and I realize "I love these people so much."

However, I've also thought about this...Is a change in personality like this really so bad? Do we wish that we knew the language so quick to show "Look at me" or do we want to know the language fast to show "Look at Him?" I think we want our personalities to come out and have the ability to state what's on our minds and be funny. However, I think the beautiful thing about being a child in a language is that it teaches you to listen a lot more to the person that is in front of you. That being said I am reminded of the verse that says "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." So instead of saying we've lost our personalities because of a lack of language acquisition, how about a gaining of the ability to actively listen to people?

If Seeing is Believing, then Believing is Not Like Faith

I think we all need to remember in our lives what it says in Hebrews 11:1. That living the Christian life is not about playing it safe and living a life of comfort. It's about living a life that's holy and pleasing to the Father. It's about taking risks that may hurt us, but in the end, can only draw us closer to Him in our lives. Sometimes, our earthen vessels have to be put in the fire and last time I checked, fire hurts sometimes. But in the end, we come out the way the Father would have us to be...and that is more like Christ.

I am more and more fascinated by the life of John the Baptist in the scriptures. Jesus said that he was the greatest man ever to be born of a woman. John the baptize was a wild man and a man of risk and of great faith. The man ate locus and drank honey and had camel skins as clothes. Last time I checked, Gucci and Armani didn't have a special deal on Camel Skin three piece suits and Locus wasn't on the menu at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant. This man was a man of great faith and totally depended on the Lord. He totally depended on the Lord for everything in his life.

I pray constantly that I would be a man of wild passion and of wild faith for Him in my life. That I would not just sit on the sidelines of this life, but that I would get in the game of life and play it with all my heart. I pray that when I do get knocked down, that I will keep getting back up and press on towards the prize that awaits me. That I will follow hard after Him!

When will we as a depraved generation completely rely on the Lord and not on our own abilities? When we will be fully obedient to what he's called us to in our lives? When will we realize that no matter how many degrees or high honors we have in life, that we are nothing without Him in our lives? When will we realize than in a world of iPods, Starbucks and google, that God is the only one that will satisfy our desires? When will we realize that true joy comes from who you are in Christ and not from who you are in the eyes of humanity?



You play it safe that's why you're running away
You play it safe because you think it's okay
- Play it Safe by Dizmas

Forgiveness is Divine

This saying is so true in every aspect of it. After learning so much about grace in my own life, God brought me to the next facet of grace, which is forgiveness. I know for myself personally it's easier for me to forgive others than it is for me to forgive myself. I am so hard on myself and when I do that, I end up doing worse and being more sinful in doing that.

I was sitting today and God just revealed to me how I do this time and time again. Today I forgave myself of a lot of things I have done to myself and to others that have been in my life. That was the most freeing thing I've experienced in a while.

I've also learned how to let go of others that mean a lot to me in my life. I let go of them because I love them and only God knows what they need in their lives. I just pray that the Lord will bless them and that they will continue to stay on the straight and narrow. I truly love everyone that I've shared life with and experienced things with in life. Thank you God for everything in my life. I'm so thankful.

Today I've been really thinking about the idea of what was written in the song "How Deep The Father's Love For Us:"


Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer


We as believers (especially Americans) think we are entitled to so much. We can have anything to our liking. You can have you computer designed to your specifications, you can have you car with or without a DVD player...you can even have your thick steak cooked anyway you want with any side you want. The sad thing is we have the same mentality with the friends we want to have or how we want to have them. We sometimes want certain people to be our friends and expect for them to be a certain way.
These past couple of weeks I've been struggling with the fact that I may not save a lot of money while I'm here in this beautiful city that I love so very much. Then I got to thinking about "Why should I gain from His reward?" Who says I should save anything from this trip? Who says people should be the kind of friend I want them to be? Certainly not the Lord.
My point is that the greatest reward that we can gain from this was said in the Cateqisms "What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever." The ultimate reward as a believer is to be able to glorify the Lord and enjoy Him and experience Him. Human beings are going to do what they are going to do, but the Lord will never fail us. He has always been the friend, father, Lord and King that I've always needed in my life. The people he puts in my life are there either for a reason or for a season. The ones that are there for a reason, I need to hold on to them until the Lord shows me it's time to let go. Until next time peeps.


Caleb and Lindsey have two children named Jonas and Meredith. I love them both so much. Today, Meredith reached out to me for me to hold her, which made my day and week. I got to hold her for a long time and it was such a joy to do so. I get so much joy from the Lord in the midst of Children. I also learn more from them than I do from adults sometimes. The messages they teach us are so simple and yet so true.

Here's one of my favorite comedy groups called Flight of the Conchords. If you like dry humor, you'll love this: