So I have officially begun intercambios this week with Spaniards. For those of you who don't know what an intercambio is, it basically means an exchange in Spanish. For me, it's where we meet with a Spaniard and I practice my Castellano (fancy word for Spanish) and they practice their English with me. I will have to say that the meetings have been pretty solid so far.

I am beginning to become good friends with two people by the name of Joan and Sergio. They are both really interesting people and very thoughtful and compassionate people. I value their opinions and them as individuals. Lift them up, that they would have great days ahead and that God would bless them at their work. Lift me up in hopes that I will be able to be a good friend to them and be able to live life the way I should in front of them.

As for me, I'm doing so wonderful. I have a great time, great family, great friends (both Spaniard and American). God is teaching me so much of myself that's true and so much about myself that I need to change. I've realized that in some ways I've exchanged truth for tradition instead of tradition for truth. God is really molding me according to 1 Corinthians 13 and is truly showing me what true love is all about in life.

"Now, for the loss I bear his name,
What was my gain I count my loss
My former pride I call my shame
And nail my glory to His cross."
- I Boast No More by Caedmons Call

I was recommended to listen to this artist by one of my best friends, Daniel Shippey. This is a song by Sean McConnell and it's called I'm Mady In Love With You. These lyrics have moved me in an awesome way. They seem so beautiful and as something that only God can say to me or to all of us. God bless everyone!


I see you down there everyday
Trying to find a different way
To build some kind of latter to the sky
Trying to find someway to see
The secrets of eternity
And they don't come all at once
And you don't know why

How do you think it feels to hear you screaming out my name
While all the while I'm trying to open up your heart
I see you when you're cry yourself to sleep
It's tearing me apart

I know you wish you could see
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you

I know that you're waiting for
A chance to come in from the war
If only a moment, If only a day
A place where you feel safe and warm
A sanctuary from the storm
Until all of these questions fade away

But I cannot count all of the signs that you've passed away as mere coincidence
And I'm running out of ways to break through
But like a lonely lover waiting by the ocean
I'll never give up on you

I know you wish you could see
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you

"So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."

O dear God,
I pray that I never forget this verse in my life. That no matter how many words I say or songs that I sing or songs that I write, I am bankrupt without love...That no matter how much I know, how much I learn, or how much I teach, I am bankrupt without Love...That no matter how many concerts I do, how many bands I promote, no matter what example I live, I am bankrupt without love. I can possess every Spiritual gift in the world but if I do not have love, I am completely and utterly worth NOTHING.

Therefore, God, since you are love, if I don't have you, I am nothing as well. Help me realize that in order to be like you, I must do everything in love.

The Attack is On.

It seems as if lately, the evil one has decided to up his attack on fellow believers in other countries. I have heard from many friends in other places and as well as people back home that have told me about people going through such immense struggles and trials. It's sad to hear, but at the same time it's a great opportunity in that the Lord has found us faithful to go through many trials for the sake of His name.

This continually reminds me how there's almost a comfort about going to church in America. A comfort that puts out the subliminal message that to be suffering is to not be in God's will almost. This is so contrary to what it says in His word. God never promised us that we wouldn't suffer, but he did promise us that He is good and that He will always be with us. I encourage each of you that when you face persecution of suffering of any kind, realize that the Lord is with you through these trials. Things will be difficult, but God doesn't bring us to something without bringing us through it. We just need to have a kind of faith that has feet (thanks Dan-O for that line).

So I am reading through Matthew and I just got through reading about Jesus being betrayed by Jesus. In that chapter, Judas asked the Pharisees how much they would pay him if he were to hand over Jesus to them. Of course we all know that he hands over Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Now first of all, betraying Jesus for any kind of money is dead wrong and you know we always frown upon Judas when we read this. Jesus himself said "Woe to that man. For it would have been better for him to have never been born."

After reading this, I got to thinking in my own life what I've traded over the Lord for. I can recall so many times in life I've traded him for human friends, for music, for money or for respect amongst other people. I've even traded time with him for good things like doing tons of relief work or giving money to good causes. We as human being tend to trade him for things that are so tangible and for things that will give us some recognition amongst mankind. We always seem to forget the verse "What is seen is temporary; but what is unseen is eternal." Are you trading the best thing-our relationship with the Lord- for good things? Are you trading what is seen for what is unseen? Remember that Jesus said "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

And now for the funny story of the week:

My teacher was asking me about the Camino De Santiago and what was my favorite part. I told her that "I really enjoyed this one place we stayed at called Sobrado de Dos Monxes. There, we stayed at a monastery and we stayed with monks."......Or so I thought I said in Spanish. Immediately I get all these weird looks from people and I quickly found out what I said. Instead of saying I stayed with monks in Spanish, I said I slept with monks. So that was my first language goof up since I've been here. I thought I would share that one with you.

Favorite lyric of the moment:

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's making time for chaos
I will see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's making time for chaos
- Chaos by MuteMath

So I tried the Banana Java Chip Frappucino at Starbucks. The first time the robust beverage of banana and chocolate chip hit my mouth, I thought it wasn't too tasty. Then the second swig was amazing. So if you ever get the chance to have one, please do because it is wonderful, especially when you live in a place where it's 85 degrees with no air conditioning. I know some people are in worse conditions than I am so I guess I can't complain about that.
Yusi loves to tell me "you're always sleeping." I've gotten to where when he comes in, I'll lay down and pretend I was sleeping just to hear him say that to make me laugh. I'm going to go check out his new flat that he got sometime soon. He wants me to come and check it out so I think I definitely will do that.

This is my absolute favorite comedian ever named Jim Gaffigan doing a stand up about Hot Pockets...Check this out because this is hilarious:

Something has got to give. I feel so much pressure to learn a language, learn a culture, get my residency AND find a venue for a band. It's probably more self-induced pressure than anything, but something has to happen sometime soon. I guess what I'm saying is I just need some prayer for something to work out.

I've realized today though that one problem I have is that I always feel like I am a burden to people and a bother to people. I need to figure out why I think this way. I'm thinking maybe it may have to do with what I've always perceived. I don't know if it's a self-esteem thing or something else. I even didn't want to put up this negative post because I didn't want to burden anybody by putting it up.


Later peeps...

The only time I ever noticed my heart
Was when I noticed you
- Noticed by MuteMath

It seems lately that God has been teaching me a lot about forgiveness. I've discovered as receiving forgiveness, you can only receive complete forgiveness from the Lord for the things you do. However, it is important you go to the other person and admit that you've done them wrong and ask them to forgive you. After that, I believe that you are basically made right in the eyes of Christ.

I've also figured out that the only thing that unforgiveness of a person can get you is more pain and grief and more division between you and the Lord. We hold unforgiveness because we think "I want them to experience the pain that I experienced or am experiencing." In the end, if that person has asked for forgiveness from you and you still have unforgiveness towards them, the only one that's in pain is yourself. You're causing a division between you and Christ and that's where the real pain lies. Pain does not occur between two people, but rather the worst pain is when there's a rift between you and the father.

More importantly, I've learned how much I need mercy and grace in my own life in this area. Grace is getting what we don't deserve and mercy is not getting what we do deserve in our lives. I'm sure there are people in my life that have been unforgiving towards me and there use to be people in my life that I had harbored unforgiveness for. Trust me when I say, it's better to forgive them and move forward then to sit there and sulk on the fact that your feelings are hurt or that person screwed you over. That does no damage to the other person....It only does damage to yourself.

Let's just say that you do inflict damage on someone else and you hurt someone else. Is that what God would want you to do? That because you hurt, you wish to inflict pain on someone on else? Is it just me that sees something incredibly wrong with this way of thinking? Instead of hurting someone in response to being hurt, respond in kindness. Anybody can hurt someone in response to being hurt, it takes a different person to respond with kindness. "Do not overcome evil with evil, but rather overcome evil with good." That's a verse I'm guilty of not practicing as well.

For my blog today, I wanted to put up this song that I recently heard. The words are written from a musician that just recently became a believer. It's called Jesus Christ by Brand New. I'm starting to think I should ask the questions in my own faith that I've been taught never to question. I'm really having to learn to decifer between the truth and tradition. While it is enlightening, it's scary at the same time because a part of me wants to believe the tradition is truth.

Some people may find it offensive, but I find it incredibly raw and real. Enjoy

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
With nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem is gonna last
More than the weekend

Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
But I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Or do I float through the ceiling

Or do I divide and pull apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you're coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories

I'd Like to Present You With Something I Call Personality

I've realized that as I learn more of the Spanish language here, my personality has completely changed in a lot of ways. First off, it has taught me to listen more and to speak less. Not only because I'm afraid to make mistakes, but because I find it more beneficial to hear what my Spaniard friends have to say and I learn a lot from them as well. My Spaniard friends are funny, opinionated and a joy to be around. Just when I think I'm tired of Spaniard culture, they say something funny to me and I realize "I love these people so much."

However, I've also thought about this...Is a change in personality like this really so bad? Do we wish that we knew the language so quick to show "Look at me" or do we want to know the language fast to show "Look at Him?" I think we want our personalities to come out and have the ability to state what's on our minds and be funny. However, I think the beautiful thing about being a child in a language is that it teaches you to listen a lot more to the person that is in front of you. That being said I am reminded of the verse that says "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." So instead of saying we've lost our personalities because of a lack of language acquisition, how about a gaining of the ability to actively listen to people?