Que tal tio?

   The longer that I am here, the more I am starting to observe the differences between the American and the Spaniard way of thinking.  I left here thinking that I have never had much in common with the "American way."  However, I am discovering I have more in common with my homeland than I thought I did.  I am also discovering that I am becoming more and more Spaniard the longer that I am here and I have to tell you, I'm delighted in the person that God is molding me and making me into here.  In the meantime, it's amazing how much of what we think is "biblical" when it is actually just tradition.

   One small difference I have noticed in thinking is in the way we start talking with people when we first meet an individual.  We start off with the typical "Hello!  What is your name?"  What I've discovered is the next question asked is different between Americans and Spaniards.  Americans ask "What do you do?" or if you're in college "What is your major?"  If you already know the person, the question usually is "What have you done today?"  In Spaniard culture, it is much different.  The first question is "How are you?"  Now for me, I find this so incredibly comforting about culture here.  A friend from here said "You Americans are so concerned with what kind of job a person has instead of the person... All we tend to care about is that they just have a job or are going to school because that's all that's needed to show they're not lazy."

   Now this shows me something incredibly significant about culture here.  It shows me that Spaniards care more about who you ARE and not what you DO.  I find that as an incredible fault in American culture that we only care about what people do and not about how they are.  I find it an incredible fault that we give a default answer of "fine" or "good," when all inside of us is falling apart sometimes and others don't know it.

   I am not saying that I have the right answer nor to I pretend to be the person that knows everything.  My opinion culture maybe wrong. There maybe some of you out there are saying that you are not like that and for those of you out there that are not like, this does not apply to you.  However, we all have to ask ourselves if we really care about how we all are doing or do we care about what people do.  To me, it's no wonder why people are legalistic when we ask them what they are doing and place more emphasis on that then the heart condition of a human being.  

   The life of Jesus shows us that he was more concerned with us being and not what we do.  He was more concerned about the heart condition and less concerned about the actions of a person.  Jesus knew that in the end, what we do would flow out of what we are.  Have you ever given much thought to the fact that the fruits of the Spirit are a state of being and not a state of doing?  So in turn, I ask, How are you doing?  How are you really doing?

Barcelona - The City that Celebrates Chocolate?

Today, I had the opportunity to go to something I've never experienced in the United States- I went to the Chocolate Festival of Barcelona.  For 8 euros ($11.75), I got to see all sorts of different chocolate on display.  From dark chocolate to milk chocolate, from chocolate with cinnamon to chocolate with cayenne pepper, it had so many different varieties.  I got to try a little bit of everything while I was there so needless to say it was a fun time.  Here are some photos:

The Entrance To The Festival

Delicious samples

A Chocolate Lover's heaven

Chocolate, Whipped Cream, and Strawberries

Why are we so afraid to be vulnerable in front of people?  Why do we feel as if we always have to have the answers to everything in life?  Why do we not ever want to admit that we need help to others?  Why are we afraid to surrender?

I'm From Barcelona

All credit for having this video goes out to Tanner Cogsdil, one of our illustrious intern. Even though it's mostly comical, it definitely portrays the love, fashion sense, and mentality of our city. Peace!

It's Time It Cooled Off Here

Seriously, it's about time...It's been blistering hot here all throughout July and August so I'm glad it's gotten cool here lately. It's nice to be able to wear a jacket when going out and to be able to see the changing of seasons unfold before you. It's also been really rainy here, which is always a good thing.  There's something strange about cool weather that just makes it seem more intimate and heart-felt than any other kind of weather. Rain always seems to bring about a gentleness and a calmness as well...the kind of calmness that makes you want to curl up in bed and just sleep the day away.  Don't worry though because I have not been doing that this month whatsoever.

I've been thinking about what I find so great about living here and the answer I come up with is quite complex.  This city is slowly fast-paced, has a chaotic order, and a quiet noisyness so to speak.  I know those things may not make any sense to anyone reading my blog, but those are the senses that I get about living here.

I miss this beautiful woman so much, it drives me crazy sometimes.

Residency is Almost there...

So yesterday, I traveled to finish up the last bit of my residency stuff for Spain and it was an adventure in itself.  First off, my flight left at 6:35 am in the morning.  My initial thinking was "Okay, I need to get up at 3am so I can get up and get ready to be to the airport by no later than 4am."  I thought this because the last time I had to catch a flight that early in the morning, it took forever to get through security.  I wanted to go to bed at 11pm, but I had to take care of a few things around the apartment first and ended up not getting to bed till 12am, thereby only giving me 3 hrs of sleep.

After arriving in Madrid at 8 am, I immediately met up with the man in charge and we drove to his place to catch the metro from there to the government building on the other side of town.  It only took literally 3 hrs of waiting in line to get everything taken care of, which is a big praise for that.  The only step left is to wait 40 days to get my card and my residency is complete.  Thanks for all those who have been thinking of me through that.

The Little Things

It's amazing how after being into my experience here for 7 months how you so easily forget the little things that made you so excited to begin with.  You forget where you are and where you've been in a sense after being here a while.  As I was traveling to Madrid yesterday, I quickly remembered how I had forgotten that I live in freaking Spain!  I quickly forget that I get to enjoy living in a decent flat, get fed well and have many amenities that many of my other friends or other people in the world do not get to enjoy.  It's the little things in life that I am learning to enjoy now and not just the major things. 

La Merce
Every year at the end of September, Barcelona celebrates the Festival of La Merce, a festival in honor of the patron saint of Barcelona, Mare Deu de La Merce.  The Festival kicks off on a Friday and ends on a Monday.  Catalan arts and crafts are for sale during the day and concerts going on all night.  During the day time and night time, other events go on as well.

One such event that goes on is the Castallers, the building of human towers.  This takes place in the Plaça De Sant Jaume I and begins with the heavy lifters at the bottom and ends with the light, agile people at the top.  After each level is completed, music is played over the sound system.  At the end, a little child stands on the top with a helmet on and throws his/her hands up in victory and the crowd cheers loudly.  Here are two pictures from Castallers.

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and they are saved."

- Proverbs 18:10

Another event that goes on is the Correfoc.  There are two Correfocs, one for children and one for adults.  During the Correfoc, kids and children dress up as devils with a stick device that twirls at one end.  Placing a roman candle-like firecracker on the twirling end and the people hold the stick in the air or shoot the firecracker on the grounds towards people and they dance in front of the sparks or under them.  It is quite a spectacle to see.  Below is a video of the event.

Come Fall On Us, We Fall On You...

Today is a day of sadness, but nevertheless, a new chapter in my life.  As I was watching the Castallers yesterday, I was reminded of Proverbs 18:10 and how strong the name of the Lord is.  As I witnessed a dear friend leave to go home, I became blunt with the Lord and prayed "God I know I'm suppose to place my trust and hope in you, but do you expect me to be here all alone with no guy to relate to what I'm going through?  What am I going to do here now?  This is going to be impossible without you and complete dependence on you."  I praise the Lord for showing me this in my life.  My heart hurts that my friend has left, but at the same time rejoices that my journey is not over, but rather it's just another chapter in my journey here.  

I think the one thing that I've began to realize since being here is what is truly valuable in this life that I have.  First though, I will start by saying what is not valuable to me in my life.  What is not valuable to me in life is the things I own.  I slowly have begun to realize that the things I say I "need" are only things I want.  I want the new iPod touch, but I don't need it...I would like to buy new clothes at ZARA or H&M, but I don't need them.

I am also realizing that traveling to distant, far-away lands is not valuable to me at all.  Sure I love to travel to other countries and be a tourist sometime...I mean, who doesn't enjoy that?!  However, at the end of my life, will those be the things I will remember the most?  The fact that I lived in Spain for two years and got to visit Portugal, Italy, Switzerland, Argentina, Costa Rica, Bolivia, Venezuela, Uruguay, China and England?  I have come to the conclusion that this isn't what's valuable in my life either.

So what is it that I see as valuable in this existence that I call "my life?"  What are the things that make life mean so much to me?  One thing that means more to me than trips or possessions is the people I experience all those things with.  I could go to every country on the globe, but if I don't have someone with me to reminisce about those trips and the experiences along the way, what's the use in going?  Life's not nearly as fun without friends or family in your life to experience them with.

I have come to also realize that God is truly the most valuable thing I could ever have in my life.  He knows me, loves me, is merciful to me and sustains me in times of trouble and turmoil.  Even though the mountains may fall into the sea, the Lord is a warrior and stands strong for me in the times that I feel weak.  I feel so little and insignificant compared to him and to know that he is above all nations and people, brings comfort to my soul.

To all my friends and family, I say thank you for the experience that I have had with each and everyone of you.  Your smiles and laughter, sadness and tears have forever been impressed upon the walls of my mind and heart.  You have taught me things that I will forever carry the rest of my life about God, the world, and the beauty of everything around me.

To my God, I say thank you for being there with me in the hard times and the good times.  Thank you for your mercy and grace even when I don't even deserve it.  Thank you for the times where you make me laugh and the times where I break down and you pick me back up and set my feet upon a rock.

It truly is better to give than to receive... :)

The Festa Major De Gracia

     Every year between August and September, each neighborhood in the city of Barcelona celebrates it's existence with music, fair-like food and other things.  The first of these festivals is the Festa Major De Gracia.  In the neighborhood of Gracia, streets compete by decorating their portion of the streets with recyclables or other things.  The winner gets the sole recognition of winning the major event.  There is also a lot of bands playing, people dancing, people watching movies.  That being said, I went with my friend Federico to discover what all the fuss was about.  Here are the pictures to prove it

Me standing in the underwater-designed street (yes Mike, I have a murse...lol).

This one is the one that got first place in two categories.  It was so impressive, I couldn't get all of it in one shot.

This is me and my friend Federico.  We had a good time of conversation and sharing about things with an awkward pause every now and then.

So as you can see the festival was quite fun.  More pictures coming soon.

JKW

So it occurred to me that I have not put up any pictures of my flat on my blog (props to the parental units for reminding me). Without further adieu, here's the pictures...

This is my super cool living room...This is where my musical creations all happen.

This is my stylish kitchen. A lot of culinary experiments have been performed already in this area of the apartment.

This is my area of deep reflection and thought...also known as my bathroom.

This is my bedroom with complementary fan as it gets really hot here considering I have no AC.

Pictures of me in Barcelona coming soon....

As much as I love change...sometimes it freaks me out.

My friend Mateo tagged me for one of these chain blog type of things (thanks Matt...sarcastically speaking). Therefore I must do this post.

Rules:

1. You must post these rules before giving the facts.

2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged must write their own blog (about their 8 things) and

post these rules. (If you are a non-blogger you can email them. Just don’t be

annoying.)

4. At the end of the blog I must tag eight people and give their names.

5. Remember to leave a comment letting them know that they’ve been tagged

and to ready your blog.

And now....

8 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME:

1. I have all the clothes in my closet color coordinated.

2. When I walk in between cement blocks, I count the steps I take in each cement block.

3. I have been addicted to Desperate Housewives recently (thanks Eva...lol).

4. I dance sometimes to music playing loud in my flat.

5. I have all my coins neatly organized.

6. My childhood dream growing up was to be either an astronaut, a garbage man, or a construction guy (what can I say...I loved heavy machinery).

7. I had a huge fear of cockroaches growing up. Partly because I had one fly at my face and another crawl up my leg when I was little.

8. When I'm doing a #2 in the bathroom, I always use four sheets of toilet paper for every swipe.

Tag, your it: Peyton, Daniel, Jimmy, Hope, Stefanie, Heather Sumner, Zach, Matt Baker

Summer Vacation Has Begun (for Spaniards)

In Spain, the whole month of August is vacation time for Spaniards...I know I wish I had a whole month of vacation a year.  Needless to say, most of my Spaniard friends will be gone on vacation during this time, leaving Barcelona absolutely dead around here.  My favorite chocolate shop here will be closed for the whole month which really stinks.  I really like going there and getting a cafe con leche with a mint dark chocolate bar.

Copeland + Cloudy Weather

I have discovered the perfect music to listen to during an overcast or rainy weather.  The perfect music to listen to is the band Copeland.  Every time I listen to them when it is overcast, the wonderful melodies of guitar combined with the vocals of Aaron just make this band the ultimate to listen to.  So if you ever have an overcast or rainy weather, be sure to listen to Copeland during that time.  Copeland is a great band regardless, but they're meant to listen to during those rainy days.

Changes (and I don't mean just clothes either)

There's already so many changes in myself and in those from home I keep in contact with.  I can tell the shifts in the way I think and do things has changed considerably and I have to say, I like where God is taking me with this.  I'm learning to truly care for those around me, to care for the planet, as well as truly become more real with people than ever.  

Haley reminded me of the story of the Dragon in C.S. Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  In this story, the Dragon was a human before this.  The Lion tells the dragon that he must tear the dragon skin off.  The dragon tries this and then proceeds to look in the water to see if he's changed back into human form, only to discover he's the same.  The Lion ultimately tells the Dragon that only him tearing it away can change it.  After tearing away at the dragon's skin, the dragon is in pain for a while.  He looks down and notices that he's back to human form.  This story reminded me that change can and will be painful at times, but that the only meaningful change can be brought by Christ and Christ alone.

That's it for now you guys.  Take care and God bless.

Happy Fourth of July (on July 21?)

Since the fourth of July is our day of independence, our Spaniard friends have been asking us how we celebrate our Independence Day and asking us what  kind of stuff we do.  We all figured that since they are asking us, Why don't we just have a fourth of July party.  The thing was that we couldn't have the party on the Fourth, so we moved it all the way back to July 21st.  The party was planned, invitations were made and we were raring to go.

Although most of the preparations were planned last minute and at times we (the team) felt like chickens with our heads cut off, the party was extremely successful.  It started at 9:30pm and went on till 3am!  We talked with friends, listened to music, ate hot dogs, hamburgers, tortilla chips with Jalapeño dip and brownies (those went quickly too).  The best part was just being in fellowship with friends and laughing and having good conversation and getting to know those around us.  We even put in some Shakira music and danced a little bit.  Paolo, an Argentine who's a magician, came later and did some magic tricks and became the life of the party.

I think the longer and longer that I am here, the more I'm beginning to realize that life is something to be experienced and not just merely read through the eyes of another person.  You can't experience things to the fullest if you haven't experienced them yourself.  The same thing goes with scripture and biblical things.  Until you have really experienced what that says, you'll never really be able to truly embrace its truth for yourself.  

Here is a video by Sarah McLachlan called World is On Fire that really moved me and made me think about how blessed I am and how there's much I can do for the rest of the world.  I hope the next time you think you have it bad, you watch this video.  Remember, life is not about what you get, but about what you can give...

I struggle with forward motion...

Why does it always seem like I struggle with motivation to do anything?  Ugh...this is so frustrating for me.  I feel as if I have the language down, the culture is fine, life with Spaniards is great, but this whole music thing to me just seems so overwhelming.  When something's overwhelming to me, I just shut down and say to myself "Why even bother?  I'm not going to be able to accomplish that in two years?"  

I was also thinking about 1 Corinthians 10:31 where it says "Therefore, whatever you do, whether you eat or drink, do it all for the glory of God."  I honestly have to say that I am not living this out with the music stuff here at all.  I struggle to do anything with it.  I haven't sang in two weeks, I haven't written a song in a week, and I feel like I'm just never going to accomplish anything.  However, I'm definitely not going to accomplish anything by sitting on my butt all day and doing nothing.  

I guess what I am asking for is prayer about this area of my life.  I wish there was some magic cliche or some encouraging speech that would make me want to work my hardest, but nothing comes to mind.  Pray that I will be diligent in my music work as well as work in areas that I may not like, but that I have to do.  Thanks you guys.

Our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops

They said we're wasting our lives

Oh at least we know that if we died, we lived with passion

They say we burn so bright

- A by Cartel

Why do we spend so much time looking into the future or at the past instead of enjoying what's right in front of us?  This question came to my mind today as I woke up from my bed in the Born this morning.  I know that I spend so much time looking to the future and thinking that it will be better when I get there.  In the process, I waste so much time today and not making the most of every moment in the here and now.

In connection with that, I've been wondering what the word passion really means in real life and in my own life.  According to the famous Webster's Dictionary, it is an intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.  After reading that definition, I have realized that passion in my own life has been drained and my passion for being here doesn't seem as strong as it was when I first came here.  I feel as a leaf in the wind, being blown from thing to thing and just going with the motions.  

At the same time, I believe passion is something that can only be lived in the here and now in life.  You can't live passionately in the future or the past, but only in the present.  We need to realize that today is a gift and need to live it wildly for today and for no other time and place. To think on the future or past to waste passion for today.

A Passionate Life Over a Regretful Life

I've also thought about the fact that I'd rather live and die living passionately than live and die regretfully...regretfully knowing that I didn't do what I've always dreamed of.  That way if I die, at least I can say I died living passionately and wholehearted being a servant as Christ was.  There have been very few times in my life where I've lived life to the fullest.  

I've always played my life safely and not passionately to a sense.  I'm not talking about living recklessly, I'm talking about living passionately.  I've always felt like I have a side of me that is just bursting to get out that I have kept bottled up for so long.  I need to feel what feeling alive feels like.  I need to take risks and live life with a bold and wild passion and not just keeping to myself and playing it on the safe side.

Lord, I pray that I never lose passion in my life... To live for the here and now because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow or the next day, but only guaranteed my life for today.  I'm tired of living in the past and future, but I want to live for today for you and nobody else.  I'm also tired of living safely, but rather if I am to die, I would rather die knowing that I lived and died with passion for you.  Father, you are the only thing I need for today and for the rest of my life.  I love you and thank you for today and if you choose to, I thank you for tomorrow.

Amen

Shelter me oh genius words

Just give me strength 

Just to pin these things

And give me peace to well her wings

And Oh, Oh carry on all you minstrels of the world

- The Minstrel's Prayer by Cartel

On The Set...or Something like that

So today we were getting work done (or I should say Matt was getting work done and I was sleeping because I wasn't feeling good) and Matt gets a call. Come to find out, Woody Allen is filming a movie in Barcelona and he was filming part of the movie a few feet from our apartment and right under the girl jman's apartment. Naturally, we hurried over to the girls apartment to catch the action.

Sure enough, there was Woody Allen standing there waiting for things to be set up for the scene they were filming next in the movie. We find out through others that Scarlet Johannson and Penelope Cruz are in this movie as well. Well we are waiting around to see the other stars and sure enough, Scarlett Johannson comes on the set. She's pretty short and look like a normal person for the most part. I got a few pictures of Scarlett and Woody (we're on first name basis...lol).

(I know you can't tell, but trust me when I say that this is Woody Allen)

(Yep...that's Scarlett Johannson a few feet away from the girl's and my apartment)

Anyways, in new developments, things have been going pretty slow right now. I have moved into the apartment with Matt as of a week ago and am still trying to get adjusted to a new schedule. Meanwhile, I am meeting with my intercambios and those are going really well. I really believe I am making some good friends out of these intercambios and just sharing life with these Spaniards. Pray that I will be able to write songs, find venues and muster up the courage to perform my songs in local venues. Until then, take care and God bless.

This is Your Life....Are you who you wanna be?

Three years ago, Switchfoot released a song called This Is Your Life on the album, The Beautiful Letdown. The song talks about how we base too much of our lives on what already has occured. It talks about how today is the day to start being who you want to be. The question is this:

This is your life...Are you who you wanna be?
This is your life...Are you who you wanna be?
This is your life...Is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When your world was younger and you had everything to lose.

This is a question that crosses my mind and I ask myself over and over again. Am I turning into the person that I want to be? A person that makes God smile and makes him proud? A person that in everything I do, brings glory and honor to Him? Is this life everything that I imagined it would be?

My answer is absolutely without a shadow of a doubt. I couldn't be happier than where I am right now in life. I have been blessed with a wonderful opportunity here in Spain, a great team, family and friends along the journey that can share in this adventure that I am on in life. I feel as if I've already changed so much these past couple of months and it's only been three months here. This mystery known as life is exciting. I don't know what it holds, but it's going to be exciting to find out.

So I leave you with the question I ask myself everyday....This is your life, are YOU who YOU want to be? Is this life everything you dreamed it would be? Or are you letting history repeat itself? Are you letting your past defeat you when it is done and over? Today is the day to live the life that you choose to live? What will you choose?




I miss this guy....

The Return From ACM

I was in Lisbon, Portugal last week from the 25-29 for our company's meeting there. If you ever get the opportunity to visit Lisbon, please do. It's a beautiful city to visit, very relaxed, and pretty cheap compared to other places in Europe. It was good to see old friends as well as make new ones while there.

That being said, as much as I enjoyed Lisbon, God really reinforced in me the need for spending time with Him daily. For most of the time, I felt so drowned out and was so quiet while there, just enjoying listening to everyone else around me. I really do believe that my times with God have taught me how to be a better listener to not only Him, but to other people around me. It felt so weird and awkward the days I didn't do my quiet times and I was fearful of that, but it is a good and healthy fear. Here's a pic of me and some of my WE family:



Rockin at the Palace...

So the band's concert at the Palace Bar went really well. The group said they had more fun here in Barcelona and it should be the truth. I live in the best city ever. The group was amazing and even went out and talked to others that were at the bar and not just sitting with their group. I can definitely see the Father raising up a great army for him in the future.

I think the thing I learned the most from this was that sometimes, God works things way bigger than I could ever imagined. I was so fearful that there was going to be nobody at the bar that evening for the band and that they would be disappointed. That night, the bar was packed full of people and it was like God saying to me "Does this work for you?"...lol. I was humbled that God was able to show me to never underestimate what He can do.

I will post more pictures of myself as soon as I can.

As for right now, things are just busy, busy, busy. Pray for peace and for me to be filled with the Spirit everyday that I am here. It's hard to believe that I am closing in on three months being here. God has proven faithful every step of the way here and I praise Him for that. Until next time my friends...

Go on and take My picture
Go on and make Me up
Oh, I'll still be your Defender
And you'll be My missing son
And I'll send out an army
Just to bring you back to Me.
Cause regardless of your brothers' lies,
Oh, you will be set free.

Because I am My beloved's
And My beloved's Mine;
So, you bring all your history,
I'll bring the bread and wine.
Then we'll have us a party
Where all the drinks are on Me
And as surely as the rising sun
Oh, you will be set free.
- Lover by Derek Webb

So I have officially begun intercambios this week with Spaniards. For those of you who don't know what an intercambio is, it basically means an exchange in Spanish. For me, it's where we meet with a Spaniard and I practice my Castellano (fancy word for Spanish) and they practice their English with me. I will have to say that the meetings have been pretty solid so far.

I am beginning to become good friends with two people by the name of Joan and Sergio. They are both really interesting people and very thoughtful and compassionate people. I value their opinions and them as individuals. Lift them up, that they would have great days ahead and that God would bless them at their work. Lift me up in hopes that I will be able to be a good friend to them and be able to live life the way I should in front of them.

As for me, I'm doing so wonderful. I have a great time, great family, great friends (both Spaniard and American). God is teaching me so much of myself that's true and so much about myself that I need to change. I've realized that in some ways I've exchanged truth for tradition instead of tradition for truth. God is really molding me according to 1 Corinthians 13 and is truly showing me what true love is all about in life.

"Now, for the loss I bear his name,
What was my gain I count my loss
My former pride I call my shame
And nail my glory to His cross."
- I Boast No More by Caedmons Call

I was recommended to listen to this artist by one of my best friends, Daniel Shippey. This is a song by Sean McConnell and it's called I'm Mady In Love With You. These lyrics have moved me in an awesome way. They seem so beautiful and as something that only God can say to me or to all of us. God bless everyone!


I see you down there everyday
Trying to find a different way
To build some kind of latter to the sky
Trying to find someway to see
The secrets of eternity
And they don't come all at once
And you don't know why

How do you think it feels to hear you screaming out my name
While all the while I'm trying to open up your heart
I see you when you're cry yourself to sleep
It's tearing me apart

I know you wish you could see
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you

I know that you're waiting for
A chance to come in from the war
If only a moment, If only a day
A place where you feel safe and warm
A sanctuary from the storm
Until all of these questions fade away

But I cannot count all of the signs that you've passed away as mere coincidence
And I'm running out of ways to break through
But like a lonely lover waiting by the ocean
I'll never give up on you

I know you wish you could see
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you

"So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."

O dear God,
I pray that I never forget this verse in my life. That no matter how many words I say or songs that I sing or songs that I write, I am bankrupt without love...That no matter how much I know, how much I learn, or how much I teach, I am bankrupt without Love...That no matter how many concerts I do, how many bands I promote, no matter what example I live, I am bankrupt without love. I can possess every Spiritual gift in the world but if I do not have love, I am completely and utterly worth NOTHING.

Therefore, God, since you are love, if I don't have you, I am nothing as well. Help me realize that in order to be like you, I must do everything in love.

The Attack is On.

It seems as if lately, the evil one has decided to up his attack on fellow believers in other countries. I have heard from many friends in other places and as well as people back home that have told me about people going through such immense struggles and trials. It's sad to hear, but at the same time it's a great opportunity in that the Lord has found us faithful to go through many trials for the sake of His name.

This continually reminds me how there's almost a comfort about going to church in America. A comfort that puts out the subliminal message that to be suffering is to not be in God's will almost. This is so contrary to what it says in His word. God never promised us that we wouldn't suffer, but he did promise us that He is good and that He will always be with us. I encourage each of you that when you face persecution of suffering of any kind, realize that the Lord is with you through these trials. Things will be difficult, but God doesn't bring us to something without bringing us through it. We just need to have a kind of faith that has feet (thanks Dan-O for that line).

So I am reading through Matthew and I just got through reading about Jesus being betrayed by Jesus. In that chapter, Judas asked the Pharisees how much they would pay him if he were to hand over Jesus to them. Of course we all know that he hands over Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Now first of all, betraying Jesus for any kind of money is dead wrong and you know we always frown upon Judas when we read this. Jesus himself said "Woe to that man. For it would have been better for him to have never been born."

After reading this, I got to thinking in my own life what I've traded over the Lord for. I can recall so many times in life I've traded him for human friends, for music, for money or for respect amongst other people. I've even traded time with him for good things like doing tons of relief work or giving money to good causes. We as human being tend to trade him for things that are so tangible and for things that will give us some recognition amongst mankind. We always seem to forget the verse "What is seen is temporary; but what is unseen is eternal." Are you trading the best thing-our relationship with the Lord- for good things? Are you trading what is seen for what is unseen? Remember that Jesus said "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

And now for the funny story of the week:

My teacher was asking me about the Camino De Santiago and what was my favorite part. I told her that "I really enjoyed this one place we stayed at called Sobrado de Dos Monxes. There, we stayed at a monastery and we stayed with monks."......Or so I thought I said in Spanish. Immediately I get all these weird looks from people and I quickly found out what I said. Instead of saying I stayed with monks in Spanish, I said I slept with monks. So that was my first language goof up since I've been here. I thought I would share that one with you.

Favorite lyric of the moment:

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's making time for chaos
I will see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's making time for chaos
- Chaos by MuteMath

So I tried the Banana Java Chip Frappucino at Starbucks. The first time the robust beverage of banana and chocolate chip hit my mouth, I thought it wasn't too tasty. Then the second swig was amazing. So if you ever get the chance to have one, please do because it is wonderful, especially when you live in a place where it's 85 degrees with no air conditioning. I know some people are in worse conditions than I am so I guess I can't complain about that.
Yusi loves to tell me "you're always sleeping." I've gotten to where when he comes in, I'll lay down and pretend I was sleeping just to hear him say that to make me laugh. I'm going to go check out his new flat that he got sometime soon. He wants me to come and check it out so I think I definitely will do that.

This is my absolute favorite comedian ever named Jim Gaffigan doing a stand up about Hot Pockets...Check this out because this is hilarious:

Something has got to give. I feel so much pressure to learn a language, learn a culture, get my residency AND find a venue for a band. It's probably more self-induced pressure than anything, but something has to happen sometime soon. I guess what I'm saying is I just need some prayer for something to work out.

I've realized today though that one problem I have is that I always feel like I am a burden to people and a bother to people. I need to figure out why I think this way. I'm thinking maybe it may have to do with what I've always perceived. I don't know if it's a self-esteem thing or something else. I even didn't want to put up this negative post because I didn't want to burden anybody by putting it up.


Later peeps...

The only time I ever noticed my heart
Was when I noticed you
- Noticed by MuteMath

It seems lately that God has been teaching me a lot about forgiveness. I've discovered as receiving forgiveness, you can only receive complete forgiveness from the Lord for the things you do. However, it is important you go to the other person and admit that you've done them wrong and ask them to forgive you. After that, I believe that you are basically made right in the eyes of Christ.

I've also figured out that the only thing that unforgiveness of a person can get you is more pain and grief and more division between you and the Lord. We hold unforgiveness because we think "I want them to experience the pain that I experienced or am experiencing." In the end, if that person has asked for forgiveness from you and you still have unforgiveness towards them, the only one that's in pain is yourself. You're causing a division between you and Christ and that's where the real pain lies. Pain does not occur between two people, but rather the worst pain is when there's a rift between you and the father.

More importantly, I've learned how much I need mercy and grace in my own life in this area. Grace is getting what we don't deserve and mercy is not getting what we do deserve in our lives. I'm sure there are people in my life that have been unforgiving towards me and there use to be people in my life that I had harbored unforgiveness for. Trust me when I say, it's better to forgive them and move forward then to sit there and sulk on the fact that your feelings are hurt or that person screwed you over. That does no damage to the other person....It only does damage to yourself.

Let's just say that you do inflict damage on someone else and you hurt someone else. Is that what God would want you to do? That because you hurt, you wish to inflict pain on someone on else? Is it just me that sees something incredibly wrong with this way of thinking? Instead of hurting someone in response to being hurt, respond in kindness. Anybody can hurt someone in response to being hurt, it takes a different person to respond with kindness. "Do not overcome evil with evil, but rather overcome evil with good." That's a verse I'm guilty of not practicing as well.

For my blog today, I wanted to put up this song that I recently heard. The words are written from a musician that just recently became a believer. It's called Jesus Christ by Brand New. I'm starting to think I should ask the questions in my own faith that I've been taught never to question. I'm really having to learn to decifer between the truth and tradition. While it is enlightening, it's scary at the same time because a part of me wants to believe the tradition is truth.

Some people may find it offensive, but I find it incredibly raw and real. Enjoy

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
With nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem is gonna last
More than the weekend

Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
But I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Or do I float through the ceiling

Or do I divide and pull apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you're coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories

I'd Like to Present You With Something I Call Personality

I've realized that as I learn more of the Spanish language here, my personality has completely changed in a lot of ways. First off, it has taught me to listen more and to speak less. Not only because I'm afraid to make mistakes, but because I find it more beneficial to hear what my Spaniard friends have to say and I learn a lot from them as well. My Spaniard friends are funny, opinionated and a joy to be around. Just when I think I'm tired of Spaniard culture, they say something funny to me and I realize "I love these people so much."

However, I've also thought about this...Is a change in personality like this really so bad? Do we wish that we knew the language so quick to show "Look at me" or do we want to know the language fast to show "Look at Him?" I think we want our personalities to come out and have the ability to state what's on our minds and be funny. However, I think the beautiful thing about being a child in a language is that it teaches you to listen a lot more to the person that is in front of you. That being said I am reminded of the verse that says "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." So instead of saying we've lost our personalities because of a lack of language acquisition, how about a gaining of the ability to actively listen to people?

If Seeing is Believing, then Believing is Not Like Faith

I think we all need to remember in our lives what it says in Hebrews 11:1. That living the Christian life is not about playing it safe and living a life of comfort. It's about living a life that's holy and pleasing to the Father. It's about taking risks that may hurt us, but in the end, can only draw us closer to Him in our lives. Sometimes, our earthen vessels have to be put in the fire and last time I checked, fire hurts sometimes. But in the end, we come out the way the Father would have us to be...and that is more like Christ.

I am more and more fascinated by the life of John the Baptist in the scriptures. Jesus said that he was the greatest man ever to be born of a woman. John the baptize was a wild man and a man of risk and of great faith. The man ate locus and drank honey and had camel skins as clothes. Last time I checked, Gucci and Armani didn't have a special deal on Camel Skin three piece suits and Locus wasn't on the menu at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant. This man was a man of great faith and totally depended on the Lord. He totally depended on the Lord for everything in his life.

I pray constantly that I would be a man of wild passion and of wild faith for Him in my life. That I would not just sit on the sidelines of this life, but that I would get in the game of life and play it with all my heart. I pray that when I do get knocked down, that I will keep getting back up and press on towards the prize that awaits me. That I will follow hard after Him!

When will we as a depraved generation completely rely on the Lord and not on our own abilities? When we will be fully obedient to what he's called us to in our lives? When will we realize that no matter how many degrees or high honors we have in life, that we are nothing without Him in our lives? When will we realize than in a world of iPods, Starbucks and google, that God is the only one that will satisfy our desires? When will we realize that true joy comes from who you are in Christ and not from who you are in the eyes of humanity?



You play it safe that's why you're running away
You play it safe because you think it's okay
- Play it Safe by Dizmas

Forgiveness is Divine

This saying is so true in every aspect of it. After learning so much about grace in my own life, God brought me to the next facet of grace, which is forgiveness. I know for myself personally it's easier for me to forgive others than it is for me to forgive myself. I am so hard on myself and when I do that, I end up doing worse and being more sinful in doing that.

I was sitting today and God just revealed to me how I do this time and time again. Today I forgave myself of a lot of things I have done to myself and to others that have been in my life. That was the most freeing thing I've experienced in a while.

I've also learned how to let go of others that mean a lot to me in my life. I let go of them because I love them and only God knows what they need in their lives. I just pray that the Lord will bless them and that they will continue to stay on the straight and narrow. I truly love everyone that I've shared life with and experienced things with in life. Thank you God for everything in my life. I'm so thankful.

Today I've been really thinking about the idea of what was written in the song "How Deep The Father's Love For Us:"


Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer


We as believers (especially Americans) think we are entitled to so much. We can have anything to our liking. You can have you computer designed to your specifications, you can have you car with or without a DVD player...you can even have your thick steak cooked anyway you want with any side you want. The sad thing is we have the same mentality with the friends we want to have or how we want to have them. We sometimes want certain people to be our friends and expect for them to be a certain way.
These past couple of weeks I've been struggling with the fact that I may not save a lot of money while I'm here in this beautiful city that I love so very much. Then I got to thinking about "Why should I gain from His reward?" Who says I should save anything from this trip? Who says people should be the kind of friend I want them to be? Certainly not the Lord.
My point is that the greatest reward that we can gain from this was said in the Cateqisms "What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever." The ultimate reward as a believer is to be able to glorify the Lord and enjoy Him and experience Him. Human beings are going to do what they are going to do, but the Lord will never fail us. He has always been the friend, father, Lord and King that I've always needed in my life. The people he puts in my life are there either for a reason or for a season. The ones that are there for a reason, I need to hold on to them until the Lord shows me it's time to let go. Until next time peeps.


Caleb and Lindsey have two children named Jonas and Meredith. I love them both so much. Today, Meredith reached out to me for me to hold her, which made my day and week. I got to hold her for a long time and it was such a joy to do so. I get so much joy from the Lord in the midst of Children. I also learn more from them than I do from adults sometimes. The messages they teach us are so simple and yet so true.

Here's one of my favorite comedy groups called Flight of the Conchords. If you like dry humor, you'll love this:

I hope you enjoy this song and who knows...you may even buy the song and this may apply to you right now. If it does, I encourage you to never run away from struggles and suffering, but to face them head on and give them to the Lord. The Lord doesn't bring us to things without seeing us through them. I constantly have to remind myself that the Lord never promised a life without suffering, but He promised that He is good and that He is with us. To that, I say Amen Jesus, my Lord, my God, my Savior, my friend, and most importantly, my King.




God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me

‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now

- I Will Lift My Eyes by Bebo Norman

This next picture goes out to a special woman in my life, even though this note is about 4 days late:


I love you mom. God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with a mother like you. You've sacrificed so much so that Mike and I can have our dreams come true. You've been the example of how a parent should be for their children. I know I've embarrassed you a little with this note, but I want the world to know how much you mean to me.

The Camino De Santiago

As I sit here in the cafeteria of my residencia, I am reflecting on the 75 miles of backpacking with my team the Camino De Santiago de Compostela through the beautiful green pastures filled with sheep, cows and horses in the area of Galicia in Northern Spain. From beginning in Lugo to the end in Santiago de Compostela and every town along the way was a lesson learned.
The Camino of Santiago, known in English as the walk of St. James, is the path in which James, the disciple of Jesus, walked through Europe sharing the good news with people he came in contact with. Since the discovery of his body in Santiago, the Camino has been used by Catholics as a way of penitents of sins. Priests would tell their people to walk a certain part of the trail for remission of sins. Today, the trail is used commercially and some people still do the trail as a spiritual journey for a week or for the whole trail, which takes 36 days to do.
I specifically think about the highlights of the adventure, the people I met along the way or that I got to know and the sights that I have seen along the way and am just amazed by the love of the Creator of the universe.
Out of the six days there, my most memorable were the first, second and last day of hiking and they were probably the most physically draining of the days. The first day we ended up almost going in circles and walked for 8 hours of the day instead of only 4 hours. We were on a path for about 3 hours that if we had continued to stay on it, we would have ended up back in Lugo. We walked on a stretch of highway with the sun beating down on our bodies and nowhere to get water for miles. This being my first backpacking experience, I prayed "Lord, there's no way I can do this for 4 more days. In my weakness Lord, be my strength and help me to delight in that."
We finally got to the destination of Friole and my calves were the sorest they've ever been and I was thirsty and exhausted. Matt told me he thought they had killed me as I layed in the fetal position in the Pensíon. Here, we met a lovely old couple from Western France who had the same experience we did on the first day as well. Along with that, the husband injured his foot so they were having to take a taxi the next day to Melide to get it looked at. The wife was so delightful and fun to talk to.
The second day we hiked 15 miles to Sobrado Dos Monxes, where we stayed at a MONASTERY! It was amazing to stay in a place that was rich in thousands of years of history and such a place of wonder. The man that checked us in there was so nice and caring. Heck, everyone in Sobrado was nice and caring. The last day was rough and humbling as it rained all day in our final push to Santiago. It was rainy, windy, and cold all day and boy was I ever in a bad mood all that day. It was one of those days where I wish that I wasn't so convicted by God to not use four letter words. I could have easily said every wirty dord in the book that day. However, the last hour push to the city was nothing but blue skies as we reached the Cathedral of the Apostle James.
So what did I learn from this experience? All I know is that this experience has left me different than I was before I left. I have learned what it means to grant grace to others because now I've learned to grant grace towards myself when I screw up. I almost forgot that there's nothing I can do to be saved and that I am only saved by the grace of God in my own life. I was just walking today to our team meeting and I realized I forgot my camera. Instead of beating up on myself, the Lord said "there's nothing you can do about it now. Don't beat yourself up and just know that my grace is sufficient for you. You have never been able to earn my love and you never will. All I ask is that you accept my gift of grace and love...that's all."
Think about this trip, I am also reminded of the 23rd Psalm when it says

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He maketh me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside still waters
He restores my soul

This journey truly has been one of spirituality for me. I will take everything I have learned from this experience and with it, my life will never be the same ever again. Thank you, Lord, for this moment that you blessed me with. I will never forget it ever in my whole life. I'm thankful for grace and mercy and for your love that you have freely given to me. I know there's nothing I can do to deserve it, but I joyfully accept it with all my heart. Thank you for showing me the way to show grace to others is to first show grace to myself.

Random lyrics that were in my head on the trip


He uses love like a bullet from a gun
She's careful like a surgeon
Everywhere he goes, they all know to run
But she can't help but love him.
- The L.A. Song by Dave Barnes


I am alive in this moment
In this moment, I am found
I am alive in this moment
In this moment, I belong
- In This Moment by Starfield


Life is beautiful
But it's complicated
We barely make it
We don't need to understand
There are miracles, miracles
- Life is Beautiful by Vega4

I will lift my eyes to the maker of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the calmer of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to you
- I Will Lift My Eyes by Bebo Norman

Now it's picture time:

This is a picture of the cathedral at Lugo, our starting point

This is a church in the distance along the way

More pictures coming soon....