Our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops

They said we're wasting our lives

Oh at least we know that if we died, we lived with passion

They say we burn so bright

- A by Cartel

Why do we spend so much time looking into the future or at the past instead of enjoying what's right in front of us?  This question came to my mind today as I woke up from my bed in the Born this morning.  I know that I spend so much time looking to the future and thinking that it will be better when I get there.  In the process, I waste so much time today and not making the most of every moment in the here and now.

In connection with that, I've been wondering what the word passion really means in real life and in my own life.  According to the famous Webster's Dictionary, it is an intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.  After reading that definition, I have realized that passion in my own life has been drained and my passion for being here doesn't seem as strong as it was when I first came here.  I feel as a leaf in the wind, being blown from thing to thing and just going with the motions.  

At the same time, I believe passion is something that can only be lived in the here and now in life.  You can't live passionately in the future or the past, but only in the present.  We need to realize that today is a gift and need to live it wildly for today and for no other time and place. To think on the future or past to waste passion for today.

A Passionate Life Over a Regretful Life

I've also thought about the fact that I'd rather live and die living passionately than live and die regretfully...regretfully knowing that I didn't do what I've always dreamed of.  That way if I die, at least I can say I died living passionately and wholehearted being a servant as Christ was.  There have been very few times in my life where I've lived life to the fullest.  

I've always played my life safely and not passionately to a sense.  I'm not talking about living recklessly, I'm talking about living passionately.  I've always felt like I have a side of me that is just bursting to get out that I have kept bottled up for so long.  I need to feel what feeling alive feels like.  I need to take risks and live life with a bold and wild passion and not just keeping to myself and playing it on the safe side.

Lord, I pray that I never lose passion in my life... To live for the here and now because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow or the next day, but only guaranteed my life for today.  I'm tired of living in the past and future, but I want to live for today for you and nobody else.  I'm also tired of living safely, but rather if I am to die, I would rather die knowing that I lived and died with passion for you.  Father, you are the only thing I need for today and for the rest of my life.  I love you and thank you for today and if you choose to, I thank you for tomorrow.

Amen

Shelter me oh genius words

Just give me strength 

Just to pin these things

And give me peace to well her wings

And Oh, Oh carry on all you minstrels of the world

- The Minstrel's Prayer by Cartel