It's been different living back in the United States. I won't go into great detail about how this change has been for me, but let's just say things have been a little more isolated here than it was in Spain. It's easier to be in your home by yourself or to be anywhere by yourself for the whole time. And if you want to go somewhere, it always costs you something. If you want to go to the coffee shop, it costs gas, time and money.

People also seem to be so disconnected from each other here a lot of times. It seems like people here have a genuine fear of getting close to anyone else, which is something I find really strange. I find it strange because the only logical reason I can think of that people would be fearful of that is because when you let someone close to you, you're giving that person the power to do what they will. They can be a help, encouragement, and blessing. At the same time, they can be hurtful, take advantage of you, and spiteful. I can understand the fear, but at the same time I feel that as a believer, God commands me to not be fearful of anything

The Social Gospel or "The" Gospel

I was shortly engaged in a conversation with a seminary student a while back about the past elections and my choice for president (if you want to know, just ask me).  After a long, in-depth conversation, this person proceeded to insinuate that I was promoting a social gospel and not THE gospel.  By that, I mean he seemed to insinuate that I was promoting more of a need to meet people's physical, mental and emotional needs and not their spiritual needs.  When he confronted me with that part of it, I was honestly confused by what he was saying because this person seemed to insinuate that in a ways, God only cares about our spiritual well-being and not about the whole person.  I am sure he didn't mean to come across this way, but he nevertheless did.

Anyways, it got me thinking about the gospel in and of itself.  Is the gospel really just about caring about souls being saved?  While I can't answer this question, I do believe that he does want us to live our lives the way Christ intended for us to live it and to actively share our faith in the process.  This, to me, means that while sharing our faith, we should fight poverty, abortion, the death penalty, white collar crime, genocide, and other injustices against humanity or things that God frowns upon.  It seems that in the United States, we have people either sharing their faith and not being active in standing up for truth and justice or people standing up for truth and justice and not sharing their faith.

The great thing that I see is that is quickly changing.  We're quickly finding a generation of believers that have character and actively share their faith while standing up for what's right and against injustice.  THAT, to me, IS the gospel.  Call it a social gospel if you want, but that to me is The gospel of Christ.  After all, didn't God turn water into wine to keep the party going?  Didn't he feed the five thousand and preach?  Didn't he break bread and pass the cup in the last supper?  Didn't he heal those that needed healing while teaching them?  Didn't Christ, in a sense, teach, preach, and live what the gospel is?  And isn't the gospel not only the way Christ lived, but also Christ in and of itself?

Your thoughts are appreciated....

Forgive me for this, but since I've been back from Spain, I find that I am not the most patriotic person anymore.  Please don't misunderstand that as I don't like or that I hate America.  I actually think America has a lot of good things about it, but there are many things about American culture I find really odd and even really wrong.

I began to realize this while I was sitting in church this past sunday and I watched a video talking about things that we as believers should stand up for when voting tomorrow.  Instead of raising the cross in the video, they raised the American flag.  Instead of raising God's word, they raised the red, white and blue.

Does anybody else find something wrong with this?  Doesn't it bother anyone else that we almost place Country over Christ?  A president over an everlasting king?  Democracy over the kingdom?  God bless America over "In God We Trust?"

Contextualization

It seems that believers love to read their bibles and that's a good thing.  However, there has been the issue of how to contextualize the gospel, meaning that how should we read the bible or apply it in our daily lives.  Some people tend to think that the way to do that is to go back to what those words really mean in the Greek and Hebrew.  Others believe that you should view in the way it was applied to that culture at the time that book of the Bible was written.  Yet others believe you should just read the words that are on the bible in front of you and apply it that way as well.

While I can't say how I necessarily feel about contextualizing scripture and how to read it, I do not necessarily think that there is only one correct way to read the scriptures.  Please don't think I'm trying to say that every person can necessarily make up their own interpretation of scripture.  I believe that we are fallible human beings and are capable of some grave misconceptions as to what God's word is "really saying."  I also believe that we should all read the scriptures and study it from different angles and with prayer, meditation, meeting in community with other believers, practicing what we learn and walking in the Spirit, God will reveal the true answers in time.  I believe that to say that there's only one way of looking at scripture is putting God in a box and limiting the capability He has of transforming lives through scripture in different ways.

  What do you think of contextualizing scripture?  What do you believe about this topic?

Death and Life at a Funeral

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of my Uncle Hugh, who died after a long battle with Pancreatic Cancer.  We gathered at the funeral home at 11am and sat with the rest of the family.  We heard a sermon from his pastor about his life and what he stood for and even had a visit from the first basketball team he coached in Hoboken, Georgia.  The overflowing fragrance of flowers and the overwhelming sensation of happiness, but also of tearful nostalgia of times we had with Hugh filled the room.  It was truly a hard, but beautiful moment.

There's a lot to learn about funerals.  At first, it's a happy occasion (especially in the case of believers) because you celebrate the fact that even though his/her life on earth is over, they're with the father in Heaven.  From there, it turns to sadness and you tend to focus on the fact that the loved one you lost is gone from this earth and how much you will miss him/her.  Then at the end, it turns to a happy occasion because you look around you and you begin to treasure the ones around you.

Funerals do teach us so much.  Not only a lot about death, but also a lot about life.  It teaches us to embrace the fact that one day, we will be like the person we are here to remember in that we will die, our bodies will be put in the ground and the worms will have their way with them. Ben Franklin even said "There are two things certain in life: Death and Taxes."  There's not many things in life that are certain, but it is certain for all of us that we're all going to die.  We need to quit trying so hard to avoid it and just accept that when the time comes for us to die, that we will die with honor and dignity and be able to not regret a single moment of our lives.

Funerals teach us a lot about life.  It makes us ask the question if we have truly lived life or if we have only done enough to survive through life.  I have to be honest and say that I see too many people just surviving and not enough people truly living.  It seems that we as believers are thinking so much about the life to come, that we forget about the life that we have right now.  I'm not trying to say that I don't do this from time to time because I do.  I'm just saying that when is the last time we as human beings truly lived and not just talked about living or surviving.  Make the most of the day, love God, and love others.  God is not just the God of the past and future, but more importantly he's the God of the present.  Enjoy every moment.

Loneliness

Everywhere I look, I seem to see lonely people.  From China to Spain, Atlanta to Tifton, from Restaurants to even churches, it seems that there's an inherent loneliness in all of us.  There's even times where one can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely or all alone.  I've even heard stories where couples feel lonely as well.  

I've been really pondering why this is the case in the life of all humanity and really think that the answer is straight forward and honest.  This loneliness came into the world thousands of years ago when one man and one woman decided to eat from the only tree in a certain garden that they were not to eat from.  This loneliness started when two people decided to do things their own way instead of the way that God intended for us.  In a sense, the loneliness we feel at times is because of the human condition that each of us have.  It serves as a reminder that there's only one person that can feel that void in our lives.  God is the only person that can feel that void in our lives and a relationship with Him is the only thing that can make us whole... truly whole.  He's the only thing that makes our lives rich, deep, hopeful and peaceful in the midst of a broken world full of wars, genocide, hunger, conflict and desolation.

I'm learning that the loneliness feeling will never go away.  It will show up from time to time in my life and I'm certain that it will show up in married life as well as in a life of singleness.  The difference is that I know now that God is the only person that fills that void in my life.  Why do you think there's a loneliness in the world?

It's been a long two years...I mean a year and a half

Well it's been a dang long time since I've written on my blog so I'll fill you in on what's going on as much as possible.  I moved back to the United States on July 8, where I was greeted at the airport by my girlfriend, Heather.  She drove me back to Tifton, along with my two footlockers, one suitcase and my backpackers backpack.  The first place I ate at when getting back home was Carraba's (I love their rosemary chicken).

Anyways, the transitioning has been good so far.  It's been excellent to see friends and family and to have the opportunity to catch up with them.  I've also applied for a job at starbucks and hopefully, I will hear from them soon.  After knowing of the job I will have, I will decide how I am going to get involved in the community here.  The choices are looking like Big Brothers Big Sisters or Boys & Girls Club.

As far as adjusting to living back in the "American Dream," it's been slow but good.  I really miss food in affordable olive oil, café con leche and chocolate croissants, but it's been nice to exchange that for sweet tea, thick juicy steaks and good whole grain bread that doesn't turn into a weapon after a day.  However, conversations with people have been what I would deem to be shallow or superficial.  It's quite an adjustment going from talking about what's going on in the world to talking about sports 24-7.  Don't get me wrong because I love sports, but I just believe certain things are worth talking about more than Brett Favre's "retirement."  However, it will take time to become accustomed to this new way of living.

When Friends Become Family

I watched my supervisor, his wife and kids pack up everything they could possibly pack in 6 suitcases, load it on a plane and head home, not knowing when or if I would ever see them again.  I cried, kissed their kids, hugged all of them and told them "see you later" (you guys know I'm not good at goodbyes).  I felt as if I was saying goodbye to not just my supervisor and his wife and kids, but I felt like I was saying goodbye to a part of my family.

It's strange, yet bitter-sweet how attached we become to people that come into our lives.  We go from not knowing people at all and being weird around them to being so comfortable and accepted around the ones we love.  We go from uncertainty with people, to comfort, acceptance, encouragement and love with those around us.  I definitely believe my boss' family is part of my family.

This led me to thinking about this one question that's been on my mind.  When did these people as well as other friends in my life become family to me?  What are the qualifications for this six letter word that we have in our lives.  While I can't speak for other people, I will say that those that are family to me are distinct from just friends.  Family are people that welcome you into their home with no questions asked and say with words and deeds "Come on in...you don't have to prove yourself...you are accepted here...rest and relax and be who you are...tell us how you feel or what you are thinking...because we love you no matter what."

From there, I got to thinking and even fear this thought.  Oh how I wish the church...the body...Christ's body, was like this to each other and to the world.  I look back on so much of my life and have felt as if I have had to jump through hoops, do a little dance or be on try-out to be able to be accepted into a group and it's not just in the world either.  I believe that if we were really like this to the world, they couldn't help but want the gift that we have inside of us.  The world is tired of the condemnation and the judgement and the pointing of fingers.  What the world needs is faith, hope and love.  Paul said in his letter to the church at Corinth "Now these three things remain; faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these things is love."  They are looking for community, for people to love them, for a family.  We need to be Jesus to them and not their judge or jury.

My boss has been just that to me.  He has shown me how to love people even when they can be a pain in the neck sometimes.  He's taught me that people should never have to try out to be accepted.  He's affirmed in me to love people for who they are, but hope for who they could be and have faith that God will work in them.  He's taught what a home of love can look like.  I have learned faith through the smiles of their kids and compassion through their tears.  Thank you Caleb, Lindsey, Jonas and Meredith.  I'm a better person for knowing you.  Every tear I shed is one of happiness because I was blessed to know you for this past year and am blessed to get to know you more in the years to come. You guys are not friends anymore, but you are and will always be my family.  Te agradezco!

A Friend's Birthday Party

My friend, Francis, had a birthday party two weeks ago and I was invited to attend the birthday party.  We celebrated with Pizza, drinks and Karaoke and just a time of good conversation and fellowship with good friends.  Here's a picture from the party.  God bless and praise be to Him for all my friends here!

  Patience is a virtue

   As streams of sweat and heavy breathing came about as I was jogging through the park today, God directed my thinking towards patience and how He has developed it in my life and is developing it in my life.  I thought through all the years of plowing through the field of patience and how hard and frustrating, yet liberating and peaceful it has been over the years and even in my time here.

  I began to come to a conclusion that in my own life, God uses urban areas to develop patience in different ways than he uses rural areas.  I find that when walking through beautiful, God-created landscape, that God develops patience with myself as well as with his overall plan for my life.  He's taught me through nature that his plan is perfect and that I just have to build patience in knowing that "he will carry it on to completion" (Phil 1:6).  I learn that my timing is so short-sided to compared to the timing that God has for all things, including myself as His child.

  Through working in a booming metropolis like Barcelona, you come in contact with so many people.  There are crowds that are sometimes hard to push through, people taking their time getting things in a grocery store, people rushing to get on the Metro, people even being inconsiderate for others, or even friends not opening up as quickly as I'd like for them to.  I find that in a big city, God has and is teaching me to have patience with people and even with people that I don't really know.  Those that know me know that I can be a person that's always on the go and going quickly.  To slow down is aggravating to me and I get really impatient.  Thanks be to God that he is patient with me and if He can be patient with me, He can certainly teach me to be patient with others.

  I remember a song as a kid that said "I can wait to have patience...because patience is a wonderful thing."  Patience is a virtue, but it requires patience to develop patience.  I will patiently wait for God to develop this further in my life.

Feel free to comment on this.  Do you agree or disagree?  What are you experiencing with Patience?

Another Camino, Another Spiritual Journey

These past two weeks, I have been on a two week, 140-mile hiking journey through Northern Spain on the Way of St. James.  I had done the same journey last time for a week and only 75 miles.  To refresh everyone's memory, this journey was a journey taken in Ancient times to the place were James is buried, which is Santiago de Compostela.  It technically starts in Saint Jean Pie de Port, France and goes all the way to the Northwest corner of Spain, a journey that typically takes a little over a month to do.  However, I only did two weeks of it because I simply just don't have a month to spend to be able to do that.

This time around on the journey, I learned so many different things.  As I began to experience life on this inward and outward journey, I began to experience something this time around that I had failed to experience all my life.  I began to notice the explosion of colors all around the Galician countryside.  The combinations of brown, green, yellow and purple that make Galicia beautiful.  I began to notice the early morning fog, the light rain, the moments of sunshine pushing its way through the clouds.  I began to experience God in a new way and it was throught the world he created.  As I walked this long journey, my mind was at peace with the world around me and God brought this small understanding of Him through his creation.

I also was able to experience the journey with fellow sojourners along the way.  People from Spain, France, Germany and even the United States.  We all had a common bond in aching muscles, strained ligaments and feet filled with blisters.  We all were on some sort of journey, both inward and outward.  We were all opened to sharing our spiritual experiences with one another.  God was truly at work in the lives of those around me to speak to me and I can only hope God used me to do the same to those around me.

Lastly, I came to grips in a small way with my own humanity on this journey.  I began to realize that even though God has done so much in me these past 11 months, but my life journey with the Lord is still not over.  I still have limitations, vices and gifts in my personality that can be obstacles at times.  However, I shouldn't focus on these things, but rather focus on loving God and what it means when God says he loves us.  I believe that comprehending how much God loves me will lead me to a greater love for him and a greater desire to do the things He has me to do.

The longer I'm here, the more I realized how I am just okay and how good and big God is.  That's something that we tend to say all the time.  "God is good all the time and all the time God is good" or we sang the song as kids "My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do."  I have wondered in my own life this very question that I am about to present to you all.  If God really is so BIG and so GOOD, then why do we let the fears we have in our lives control us?  I would like to think that if I thought God was so big that the world we live in couldn't contain him, why don't I live a life of faith sometimes that shows He's that big or that He is that good?  Why don't we, the church do that?

I'll admit for me that I've so often confused comfort as peace when that's not necessarily the case.i I believe that in America, I grew up with the illusion that comfortable was what really mattered.  I had to have comfortable clothes, comfortable shoes, a comfortable bed, and a house with Air Conditioning.  Now I may not have it as bad as people in other places, but I don't have air-conditioning, I wear the tightest jeans I've ever worn in my life, I have a fauxhawk haircut, and I live in a strange land that speaks a strange language and has a strange culture (thanks Thom Wolf).  As close as Europe is to America in some ways, I'm still not 100% comfortable with things here.  However, a good friend taught me that being uncomfortable isn't always a bad thing.  Maybe we all in the American church should remember that...Maybe we've become so comfortable and fearful that we forgot to love God and that "perfect love drives out all fear."

Growing weary

I have been doing concerts about every week at the Palace Bar and it seems as if I am coming up dry from doing them.  I guess I have grown tired of doing the mundane things here...the things that I do every week because I feel obligated to do them.  For those that know me know that I hate doing things out of obligation.  Maybe God is telling me it's time to look for another place to play.  I still want to maintain a good relationship with the people at the Palace Bar, but I believe it's time to branch out a little and try for some new places.

A Cool European Haircut

For those of you that have been to Europe and have ever gone to the hair salon to get a haircut, you guys know that you can request whatever you want at the place.  Regardless of what you request most of the time, the hair stylist does whatever he wants to your hair.  However, this time, I went to a different place than I usually go to because I wanted to try to get the famous European Fauxhawk.

Many of you may be asking this question "What is a fauxhawk?"  Well I am glad you asked that question because I will gladly answer with words and pictures.  A fauxhawk is like a mohawk, except on the sides, it is not bald, but rather just a lot shorter compared to the hair movement down the middle.

I have to say that I rather enjoy this style of haircut and will probably get it from now on or as long as it is popular here in Europe.  Here's the pictures for proof if you need something like that.  Until next time...

I have realized that my last couple of blogs have been on the attack about things in the church or things in American Society.  This blog however is going to be one of confession. A confession to things that I have done when I was in the States:

- I confess that I have lived a life of double dutch missions as I call it.  I stand on the outside, wait for the opportunity, get in, do my job and get out and think "that was fun."  However, the problem is that I have treated it like a job and haven't really invested in any individuals that I've come in contact with on these trips.  I have been full of broken promises to people that I promised to e-mail and still be a part of their life journey.  Because of that, I don't know where they are in their walk with Christ.

- I realized that I have not consistently taken the light into the dark areas of the community around me.  I have been content in my Christian bubble with a fear of lostness contamination.  I've let fear of being influenced by the world overcome my fear of the Lord in my life.

- I confess that I have read and memorized scripture my whole life, but not applied every word of it that I have ever memorized.

- I confess that I have not lived a life where I am that encourages community with those around me and have depended so much on my independence, that I forget the gospel is about being around people and sharing Him with those that don't know Him.

- I confess that I have picked and chosen in the past who I want to share the gospel with instead of just being open as to who God brings my way. 

- I confess that in my past, I made stances against certain movies or books instead of taking stances against things that really matter.

- I confess that I have spent money on selfish desires that will come and go instead of really investing it in things that will make the world a better place for everyone.

More to come...

   The longer I am away from the United States, the longer I realize there's some things I don't understand the things that our nation and God's bride, the church does and supports.

   For the life of me, I don't understand how we went into a nation to rid this nation of a dictator that was killing his own people.  Yet why don't we don't go into countries like Sudan, Chad and Kenya to help bring peace to those countries and let diplomacy rule in those countries?  I know that probably the ultimate answer to that statement is that there's no benefit for us, but why should we base what country we help on what we get out of it?  Why do we as the United States do anything solely based on what we can gain from it?

  One of the things that troubles me about the church I've experienced back home is that we seem to be partial about sharing the gospel with certain people.  We pick and choose who should come to know Christ, when Christ came so that all might live.  I remember we would go to a certain neighborhood in my town and share the gospel in the low cost residential areas in our neighborhood once a week.  While that is good to do, why isn't there someone doing that throughout the year?  What are we afraid of?

  Another thing with the church is the thing we stand against.  We try to boycott movies and controversial books.  Maybe we need to read these books and watch these movies and put them in relation to God's word and what the bible says.  Don't you think avoiding things like this further puts us out of touch with the world around us and keeps us from being missional like we are suppose to be?  I'm so tired of boycotting stupid things like movies and books.  I would rather boycott industries that support sweat shops in third world countries or buy fair trade coffee than do something that does nothing but separate me from the world and puts me out of touch with those around me.  

The life I live here is pretty simple to understand, but not so easy to live and not so safe.  God brought me here to live my life as a believer in front of my friends.  I also do language exchanges with them as well as assist bringing interns over for them to study Spanish as well as Catalan and Spanish culture.  I also do a little bit of music in my spare time.  It sounds like the perfect kind of job, right?  One that's easy and comfortable since I live in Western Europe.

However, I want to make clear a couple of things that have been on my mind as of lately.  People tend to glamorize or make me out to be a hero in the life I live and what I do here or even the fact that I live in Western Europe.  Now for one thing, I've never viewed what I do as to be held up to a position of heroism.  I'm just a man that was willing to go where God called me to be.  I have to be honest and say that this view of what I do really frustrates me because it seems that by saying that, people place a blanket between themselves and a call to this kind of work so they don't have to answer it.  I'm not saying that everyone's called to do this kind of work.  Rather, I am asking that nobody raise me to a hero status.  I am just an ordinary man that was obedient, that's all.

Another thing that some people may think is that it's easy to do what I do here.  While I do have access to many things here like I would in the United States, I would say that this place is one of the most spiritually dry and dark places I've ever been to on this planet.  There seems to be a real hardness to the gospel here.  There's also a great deal of spiritual danger where I am because the society I live in is so open to so many things.  It's easy to live in the States, where you have your church bubble and go on trips into the "danger zone" to share the joy that you have.  I'll admit that I'm guilty of doing this in my past and now I look back on it and wished I'd really invested myself in the cultures around me.  I would go on trips for a week, a month or even three months and then come back and share the pictures.  I'll admit that I don't even keep in contact with hardly any of them.  I regret the fact that I haven't kept up with them and been there along their journey.

That being said, I absolutely love being here and to be able to do what I do is a blessing.  I will confess to you that the thought of going back into the Christian subculture in a way intimidates me to no end.  Don't get me wrong in that I want to be surrounded by believers, but at the same time I don't want to lose sight of the calling that God has placed on every believer's life... to go and make disciples of all nations, to love your neighbor as yourself and to love God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.

Despite these deep moments of thought, things here have been going well.  I have been traveling a good bit as I have been to England and Germany in the past month.  We had a strategy forum here in Barcelona last week, where people that work for the company all over Europe got together to discuss new strategies and such.  It was a blessing to meet many of my co-workers and to be able to connect with teachers in the States.  However, I was glad it was over because I feel like I've been going non-stop for this whole past month.  I'm just ready to be back to hanging out with my friends here and not busy doing busy work and such.

So I had my first gig last night at the Palace Bar and I believe it went well for a first performance. I vividly remember the emotions and thoughts running through me the week leading up to the concert.  I was at peace the whole week about it and the nervousness really didn't hit me till the day of the show.  That whole day, I spent in prayer and reflection and just asking God to grant me the strength to do the best that I possibly could.

So I set up all my stuff and have my set list ready for the show.  At the start, there wasn't many people at the bar.  However, the more I get ready, the more people start piling into the bar.  I was thinking "Jeez, God...I was fine with a few people and now I have to play in front of 100 people easy."  Nevertheless, I led in with the first song, which was a little rusty, but fine.  Next thing I know, I'm on my last song and people are applauding me.  Even Thomas (the manager) said I did a great job and invited me back to play.

To conclude, the concert was a success.  Thanks to all those who had me in your thoughts and prayers during that time.  I will have pictures soon to post so I will post them as soon as I get them.  Thanks for everything

J